I'm just going to pre warn you, this blogpost is probably going to be long and it is going to mention a lot of things, especially mental health.
Today is the 31/12/17, the last day of 2017
This blogpost is going to be my full send off to the year and my way to leave things in 2017 so I'm going to write about everything in this blogpost and then I can leave that in this blogpost/2017 and not take it into 2018. Honestly, that doesn't make sense but I don't know how to word it but hopefully you understand what I meant by that.
In 2017, I was very inconsistent with posting blogposts and at the time I was saying it was from School and that was true, I was given a fair bit of homework this year and the demand was quite high and I want to do well in School so I will take extra time to do projects and I will do extra tasks for a higher mark. Although, another reason that did play a huge part was my mental health. I'm going to get more into what my mental health was like this year but from what my mind was doing I didn't feel like writing blogposts and I had all of this inspiration and I wanted to write these blogposts but something inside me was like screw this, you are going to sit there and feel like shit.
My Mental Health from around July to start of November/end of October was in a very bad place. I genuinely thought I was depressed for a while and I felt like it wouldn't end. I would over-think everything and I would just sit there and think and I would get lost in my own thoughts which made things 10 times worse. I want to get everything off my chest in this post and that means being completely honest, I would post depressing quotes and shit on my Snapchat Story (like my own, personal one) and then when people texted me I would say don't worry about it but if people didn't respond to it, it would make me feel even worse. I would get pissed off at people for no reason but I would get so annoyed at someone and they didn't even do anything. I would get so sad and just feel all gloomy most of the time and I hated it. I don't even know how to explain everything now but I was just in such a bad place with my mental health. I do think some of my mental health things came from the friendships I was having at that time. This may have contributed to this but I can't say for sure because it still happens now but I do have a short temper in real life and I actually really can't help it sometimes. I will get really pissed off at something someone says then 5 minutes later I'll get over it and I won't care because in the first place it wasn't something to care about.
I am in a much better place now, I don't feel that way anymore and I feel so much happier. I did decided to email Headspace a few times to to get things out of my mind and honestly writing it down makes things a hell of a lot better. After writing the email I would feel so much better and clearer and it really did help things.
Another thing I've struggled with this year and I've kinda always had this (you could say) problem. And this so called problem I have is with Stress. I can't control my stress, I get very stressed out very easily and like I literally just said, my stress can't be sorted through so I just get stressed about everything. Honestly, how many times did I just say stress or stressed.
On a good note, the past month and a bit have been really good for me. You may have noticed I've been posting more on my blog (the past 2 weeks I've been posting everyday), I got very good marks in School on assessment tasks and I've been a lot more chilled out.
What I want to leave behind in 2017-
Bad Mental Health-
Now, this may sound kinda bad but I didn't know how else to word it. Like I explained in a massive paragraph above, I didn't have a very good mental state during the middle of the year. I don't want to carry this into 2018 because I want to be a happier person next year.
Stress, worry and anxiety-
I have always struggled with all three of these things for multiple years now and I want to stop having all of the excess of these. Everyone gets stressed, worried and has anxiety but some of us get extremely stressed, worried and anxious and I'm one of those people and I want to dial this down in 2018.
My very materialistic mindset-
I have something in my brain that turns off and on with wanting to buy things. When this has been turned on in my brain, it is really hard to resist and I want to buy things that I don't even want. I won't even want anything but sometimes I just want to buy like everything.
Bad Friendships-
This doesn't even need an explanation because nobody needs a bad or toxic friendship or relationship.
Although I have actually started working on
Holding on to the past-
Again, this doesn't really need an explanation but I do want to stop holding on to the past and things that have happened in the past because I can't do anything about it, it has already happened and I want to learn to accept that.
Overall, 2017 has been fairly nice to me. I've had my ups and downs but I have realized a lot of things and from that I've then changed them. My blog this year was so incredible good and thank-you all so much for everything that you have done this year. I've got 5,589 blog views from all around the world and when I see that number it doesn't feel real because that is a shit ton of people, like I can't even imagine that many people finding my blog and looking at it.
If you were wondering what my New Years Eve plans were then this is what I'm doing. I'm staying the night in Melbournes CBD which I honestly can't wait for. Like, I'm staying in the city for New Years Eve, I'm just so lucky and grateful but I'm going to finish this blogpost here because it is already pretty long.
Em Blogs signing off, I'll see you all in 2018
If you would like to go follow my Instagram it is: em_blogs
If you want to e-mail me it is: emblogs7@gmail.com
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