Where have I been, New Phone and Love

Hey Chickens,
It feels so good to be writing a blogpost. The title of this post may be a bit confusing but this is going to be a life update. I don't really know how long this is going to be or where this is going to go but I'm going to let it unfold how it does. This is isn't going to be my last blogpost for like 2 months now, I'm currently on my Easter Holidays which means two weeks to post and be really active and get all my blog things together!

The big question that I will answer is why I haven't been posting on anything and why I've been so inactive. Now, this is for a few reasons. I'm in Year 9 this year and in school I want to get good marks so I've been doing extra homework to get better marks and that is on top of my regular homework. It has paid off, it does take a lot of work but it's paid off and I've been getting good marks on things at school. That did take the expense of my whole Em Blogs platform. I just didn't really have time to post. I'd get home, have like 45 minutes to an hour of time for myself then I would do homework until like 8 or 9 at night and it would be like that for most nights. I just read back through that and it sounded a bit like I was trying to make people feel sorry for me, that isn't what I'm trying to do. I choose to do this but I'm changing up my ways in Term 2. Another major reason was my mental health. Now, on this blog I have chosen to be very open so you may know I don't have the best mental health. On my Mums side of the family there is a mental illness and on my Dads side there is another mental illness. The mental illness on my Mums side is more serious and I don't have that but the mental illness on my dads side is depression. I haven;t been diagnosed with depression so I'm not going to come on here and say that I do, but I do have depressive parts and triggers. At the moment, I feel heaps happier but for about a month my every-day life was making me have depressive moments. I don't know if I'm making sense but basically if I didn't write that properly then I have depressive moments that can be triggered by things in my life. It happens for a month to a few months at a time and I only really feel that depressive thing at school and sometimes at my house. I've also been a bit messed in the head at the moment because I have/had a crush.

That leads into the new paragraph. Crushes. They make you feel horrible and great at the same time. Now this isn't really a reason why I haven't been posting but I wanted to add this in anyway because we are all humans and we all feel like this at some point in our life, but it's more dramatic when we are teenagers. Lets call this kid Johnny- that is not his name, I just love the name Johnny ever since I read The Outsiders. Now Johnny is my friend and I met him through another friend. All my friends in my friendship group keep saying that me and Johnny should date. I started liking him in February and I keep saying nah or I'll say not this shit or bullshit again. You may be wondering, why are you saying that when you like him, well, I don't want to ruin our friendship. I talk to him on Snapchat and stuff and it was about 2 weeks ago when Ii was on FaceTime with like one of my best friends. That night I had found out and told her that another one of our friends like her and they were talking. The guy that likes one of my best friends is also really good mates with Johnny. My best friend asks the guy that likes her if Johnny would ever date me and he said no probably not. Because I am 14, that was the most dramatic thing to ever happen. I was like heartbroken, I was really sad and it was so fucking stupid. Last night there is a group chat with my best friend, me, the kid that likes my best friend and Johnny. My best friend ask Johnny if he would ever date and he said he preferred another one of our friends. Then she asked a similar question and he said we have been through this and said I would prefer to date you, meaning my best friend. I was also snap-chatting my best friend and I made a joke out of it. But basically that was really long, kinda complicated and completely unnecessary but I felt like I needed to share that.

The other thing I said in my title was that I got a new phone. I got it actually exactly two weeks ago. This phone came with a lot of complications but anyway. This phone is actually second hand, it is my dads girlfriends old phone which it just weird in itself. If you have ever spent like 2 hours in a Telstra shop, you will know it gets really fucking boring after 15 minutes. What happened was my dads girlfriend payed out Telstra to buy her phone then upgraded her plan to get and iPhone 8. Then I got he phone. This may sound good but there is other factors I can't tell you about because it's to personal but the only reason why my dad did this was because his girlfriend wanted a new phone and those other factors come into that. The reason why I was told this was happening was because I had an iPhone 5s which I completely smashed the screen. I don't want you guys thinking I'm being a dick because I am an grateful for getting a new phone but it wasn't what I wanted, it doesn't teach me anything about life and if I break something I have to fix it and the reasons behind it weren't for me. Please don't think I'm a bitch now. The phone was actually an iPhone 7 plus which means better quality photos for my Instagram and just in general which is good.

On a more fun note, I finished Tex by S.E Hinton last week I think it was and omg, I just love S.E Hinton. It's different to something like The Outsiders but it is still so good like I love her books so much, they are so amazing. I could talk about her books for hours on end. Apart from that I haven't been reading that much at the moment. I have been watching a fair few movies and I think I've watched The Worlds End like three times, it is such a funny film. I've also been out to go see movies a fair bit. I've seen Black Panther, Game Night which is so funny, I don't think it's still out but if it is, go see it, and that Tomb Raider which is the Lara Croft one and I'm not the biggest fan of action movies but it was pretty good. Tomorrow I'm actually going to see Ready Player One which I really like the look of and it has Simon Pegg in it so how could you go wrong. This is also something I need to talk about is The Walking Dead. I still love the show but whats happened to it. The amount of times everyone has had to kill Negan and they haven't like wtf. There is too many storylines and they aren't being consistent and as much as I love Negan, that whole storyline and this war has gone on for too long.

If any of you are Walking Dead fans you know that the character Morgan is moving over to Fear the Walking Dead. I started watching it Wednesday night and holy shit it is so good, all I wanted to do is watch it. I highly suggest watching Fear the Walking Dead because it is so addictive and I love it. I also love Frank Dillane even though he's twelve years older than me, I love him. I have also been watching Gravity Falls because I've seen heaps of the episodes but I don't know what happens at the end. It is also a really funny show. Earlier today I was having a look at the new shows on Netflix and they have season 3 and 4 of The Next Step. Now, I loved this show when I was younger and I think it was around a year ago I watched through the first two seasons and I am actually so excited. Another thing is I have been wanting to watch Futurama but Foxtel doesn't play it anymore and I'm so annoyed like why would you do that.

If this is the first blogpost you have read of mine, you probably think I'm so weird and all I do is watch movies and t.v shows, it's not entirely true. I won't be posting another blogpost until like Wednesday or Tuesday next week but I am going to be active on my Instagram so go follow me over there- em_blogs. This blogpost turned out to be like really long but anywayyyyy.

Thank-you all for reading this pretty long blogpost, maybe you enjoyed it, maybe you didn't. Like I said, it will be a few days until my next blogpost but it is coming. Happy Easter for tomorrow everyone, I hope you have a lovely day. I'll probably share my day with you all on my Insta stories. I love you all around the Universe and back but until next time, bye.